A is for Angel
Typically I try to write at least twice a month to keep myself motivated and to keep you updated, but this month has been particularly difficult on many levels. I did finish my Math 1020Q Problem Solving course and after completing the final exam two weeks ago, I am proud to say I received an A in the class. In the spring, I will up the ante by taking two classes as I continue on my journey.
However, this month has been especially difficult because my home state of Connecticut experienced one of the most devastating losses our nation has ever witnessed. We tragically and senselessly saw 20 beautiful children gunned down as they sat in their classrooms preparing to make gingerbread houses and celebrate the last few days of school before the Christmas and Hanukkah break. 6 adults in that school lost their lives as they valiantly attempted to save the children they cared for every day. As the news of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting broke across the country, I believe everyone sat in horror and disbelief, watching the unfolding carnage. Being an hour away from this tragedy made it even more personal, as I realized I was connected to someone who was impacted by this heinous act of violence. There are few words that I can say to adequately express the depth of my sadness for what has happened. There are days that I simply could not watch the news any longer and there were other days where I sat helplessly watching and re-watching the coverage, face covered in tears, sobbing at the stories of the survivors and weeping watching the pain of the loved ones left behind. My own despair at the things I have recently lost paled in comparison but at the same time were magnified as I cried for the families of Newtown and I cried for my own personal sorrows.
Initially, I didn’t want to write anything in my blog about school or the A in math as I felt in some way it might trivialize what had happened to those 26 amazing souls. Yet every day I woke up thinking what can I do, what can I say that in some way acknowledges what I’m feeling and the depth of love and compassion I feel for people I have never met and likely will never meet. Finally I realized I have this little blog, and this little voice and an opportunity in some small way to honor the sacrifice of those six brave adults and the beauty of those 20 little people who were all taken much too soon and much too painfully. I began to think my “A”, actually had nothing to do with school, but instead it stood for Angel and was my way of remembering their beauty and their lives and dedicating my words to their memories.