chasingwonderwoman

Archive for the category “summer”

The Gift of Gratitude

There’s been a lot of talk recently about the importance of gratitude. I don’t know if it’s simply the latest social media wave or if it’s always been there and it’s just now infected me. You know how when you buy a new car, then all of a sudden you see the same car everywhere you go – it’s really self-awareness it’s “new-to you” not “something new”.

About 3 months ago I heard an inspirational speaker at a work conference and he spoke about the importance of gratitude. His speech struck a chord with me and from that day to this I adopted his gratitude suggestion. Simply put, when you wake up and your feet touch the floor, you do two things 1. Express what you are grateful for that happened the day before and 2. Envision something to be grateful for in the day ahead. He also added that when he thinks of the day ahead, he focuses on someone other than himself to have something positive happen to. I loved the idea and it seemed to align with so many other similar stories and messages that I had been hearing on how grateful people are happier people. Frankly, I can use as many injections of happiness as I can get, so I was up for it.

Ugliest toes in the world

Ugliest toes in the world

This is a picture of my feet which I now look at every morning. Let me start off by saying my feet are the absolute worst feature of my whole body. Too many years of too tight, and sadly in my early days, too-cheap heels, have left them an ugly mess. That being said, I do actually look down at them every day when I start my gratitude thoughts and I think as ugly as they are, I should be grateful for them too. I blogged awhile back about foot surgery and the pain I went through. Let me tell you it was WELL over a year before the pain went away and I am truly grateful that I no longer suffer with such agony.

I’d like to say that I have turned into the happiest person on the planet since embracing this concept, but that’s not altogether true. In my opinion, happiness will always be a fleeting, transitory state that comes and goes. I have good days and bad days, but for the most part many more happy days than sad. I can however say that my new gratitude mantra has changed my overall outlook and my ability to focus and direct myself. I really do wake up and appreciate things much more than I ever did. Instead of being frustrated or overwhelmed about my job, my bills or my college journey, instead I feel a sense of gratitude for what I was fortunate/blessed to have accomplished in all of these areas. That in turn allows me to get more done and more accomplished. Call it self-fulfilling prophecy, call it “The Secret”, or call it whatever you like. I truly believe with all my heart that we will always get what we want when we can figure out what it is, ask for it and focus on it.

One example as it relates to college. For a long while I have been avoiding finding out how long it will take before I finish my degree. In my head, I thought it was at least another two years or more. I was scared of hearing the answer, so I avoided it. This summer, during one morning conversation with my toes, I said…

  • I am grateful for completing Economic Geography this summer and getting an “A”;
  • Today, I want to make sure I know how many more classes I need to graduate;
  • And, for someone else, I hope that my best friend has a better experience during her second summer session than she did her first

Over the next couple of days I figured out a few things; first I needed 14 more classes to complete my Bachelor’s degree; second if I doubled up each semester, I would be finished in one year — Summer 2015, and third that I was only 3 classes shy from receiving my AS from the sister college where I have been taking reciprocal courses!

For this I am very grateful, and yes….very happy

And oh yeah, about my best friend who I added to that day’s gratitude speech….she not only loved her second summer class, she said it was the best one she has taken so far.

I think this Gratitude stuff works.

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I’m Back

One of the things I’m known for is telling crazy stories of things I have done or seen or witnessed. I love the stories and many times I add little bits and pieces to make it as entertaining as possible. I remember hearing a famous author (I think it was Wally Lamb) give a talk and say something to the effect that good fiction writers are really nothing more than pathological liars with a pen. I remember chuckling to myself thinking, he’s absolutely right.
I titled this blog Chasing Wonder Woman to allow me to write and do what I love, which is to tell my crazy and funny stories. My goal is to chronicle what I think is a super hero like fantasy many women have for themselves.

There are days when I think about writing to you about my love life (and lack thereof); about my family (the ones I adore and the ones that I want to strangle); about my job (don’t get me started) and of course about my friends. Frankly, all of these would make for a great movie or reality television show script. But this blog is really about my journey in college and not any of these other areas that would keep me and you amused. Maybe once I get my degree completed, I can focus this blog on one of those avenues. Who knows maybe by then there will be a Mr. Right in my life so I can chronicle how that works out.

Over the past few months, I have been absent – haven’t read your blogs and haven’t written very much. It’s not for lack of material or desire. Life for me; is like it is for all of you – too busy to do the things we love the most. I finished a great course last semester with an A and signed up for one of two summer sessions. I finally got smart enough to put in a request for tuition reimbursement from my company which will help with costs and while I still have a long way to go to finish my degree, this May I have witnessed two dear friends graduate as adult learners who returned to college – very inspirational!

I wanted to share a short message that I am back, sorry for the reprieve, and plan to do a better job staying in touch over the summer! One of my favorite television and radio personalities, Wendy Williams, ends every show with “I love you for listening”.

I want to mimic her by saying… “I love you for reading”; so don’t give up on me, I’m back!

Sometimes I’m Proud

More often than not, if I were to say how I feel on any given day, it would be Sometimes I’m Overwhelmed or Sometimes I’m Filled with Self Doubt or Sometimes I Think I’m Super Fat.

Fortunately for me, the key word is “sometimes” — I don’t feel that way all the time or even often.  But every once in a while those nagging feelings of what I think I can’t do come to the surface and take hold like hungry ticks on a fat lap-dogs’ belly.

lifelineA few weeks ago I hoped that someone or something would throw me a lifesaver because I couldn’t breathe.  I am happy to say I found it bobbing up and down in the waters of my mind and I made it to dry land.  I do believe that writing this blog provides me with much-needed therapy.  I started this journey, not because I wanted to become a famous blogger, but because I felt it would motivate me and keep me from quitting.  That’s what it does.  Every post I write and every reply from one of my dear friends; every email I receive that someone new is “following me”, or “liked” my post is like a virtual hug that I feel here in my little “dorm room/office“.  I crave those hugs, I need them.  Sometimes I think I’m In over My Head but I know there are people reading this who believe without a doubt that I’m not; that “I got this”.

The good news is that I signed up for class again this semester! This is a 100% on-line class which fits in perfectly with my hectic life.  I’ve also taken a mental “chill pill'” when it comes to my new job in the new year.  I had to because I was quite literally  making myself sick with worry.  I am learning to say no to some things and how to say, I’m the boss and this is the way I want it to be done. Words I would never have thought I could say, never mind would feel the confidence to believe in after I say them.  But I do.  It’s empowering and it helps me get through the day and start to feel these small glimmers of, dare I say, — success (okay let’s just say, ‘not failures’).

Although its 22 degrees outside and a winter storm is blanketing my home like a scene from a snowpocalypse movie; technically its Spring in the world of academia.  So today its Spring for me too! This semester begins with a renewed sense of hope and a deep sense of gratitude for all of you who, whether you knew it or not, tossed me the life lines I needed.  I have to admit, I didn’t think I would be writing this message this way.  I thought it would be an explanation of why I had to take a short break, and filled with promises that I would return and not let myself down. But that’s not today’s message.  Today I’m still here, I’m still on this journey, and as I look back on the last few weeks, I have to say Sometimes I’m Proud Of Me.

…PS, I Miss You…

I seriously cannot believe that summer is coming to a screeching halt.  Here in the Northeast it becomes amazingly apparent that fall is rapidly descending upon us.  Now at 8pm it’s just about dusk, by 8:30 it’s pitch black!  It seems like yesterday the sun was still high in the sky even as late as 9:00 at night.  But it really wasn’t “just yesterday” it was about 60 yesterdays’ ago.

…I miss summer already…

I mentioned that I decided to take this summer off from college classes.  I have to admit that at first, I felt a little guilty about it.  Especially since my partner in crime, Pez, who’s on this journey with me, did take a summer class. As I type this blog, sipping an extra yummy Cabernet, she is enduring her twice a week, 3 hour lecture! Tonight’s topic…single parenthood.  We both half-jokingly agreed that when we finish our degree we could and should teach that class!

…I don’t miss summer sessions of college…

Dorm Room

My “Dorm Room”

This summer has been an interesting one.  Besides my trip to Italy, the other monumental event that took place was opening my home to my 70-year old mother. She has now been living with my daughter and I since May.  It was necessary. Living alone was becoming increasingly concerning for everyone.  I couldn’t see how she could stay in her own home the way things were going.  Around April, after a very upsetting call where my mom was certain her neighbor had graduated from stealing her hot water to stealing her church offering envelopes and triple A batteries, I made an executive decision.  During that call I said, “Pack your things mom, I will be there in 30 minutes to pick you up.”  She has not slept in her apartment since that day.  With the help of some truly life-savings friends, we packed my mom up in a weekend. The following week, I gave away my bedroom furniture to make way for her set. I moved upstairs, turning my office into an office/bedroom which I now refer to as my “dorm room”.  This seems incredibly appropriate given my “back to college” themed life.

…I don’t miss worrying about my mother…

When I bought my home 3 years ago, I was thrilled that I had done it “on my own”.  I had a lovely bedroom with a master bath and sliding glass doors that led out to my dream deck overlooking (from a distance) the water.  Now, my new 11’ x 8’ dorm room houses a ton of clothing, shoes and purses (imagine the storage boxes),  my work desk, my 3 drawer legal sized

file cabinet, a recently purchased full size bed, a printer/fax and a 26” box style Panasonic television.  Some people say I made a sacrifice but it doesn’t feel like that to me…it feels right.  Believe it or not, I like it – – a lot.  Sharing a floor and a bathroom with my 16 year old teenage daughter has gotten increasingly easier and I think has made us even closer.  Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason is that this time next year I will be sobbing when I send my daughter off to college. I will be grateful that I had this year with her on the same floor, sharing the same small space.  Last night, she crawled in beside me to watch the television show, Arrested Development on Netflix.  I wouldn’t have had that moment if my mom hadn’t come to stay with me.  Everything happens for a reason.

…I miss my daughter already…

As summer closes, of course, fall commences.  I am all signed up for class which begins in 2 weeks – – PHILOSOPHY 101.  I

See I wasn't kidding!

See I wasn’t kidding!

can only imagine the plethora of material that it will provide to feed this blog!  I actually wanted to take two classes this fall but financially I just couldn’t swing it.  I refuse to go into debt getting this degree.  I’ve worked too hard on building my credit score to throw it all away now.  The truth is, between me and you, I had to make another very important purchase this summer.  Hopefully those that read the description of my dorm room noted the 26” BOX television and cringed at the very thought of such an egregious situation. Yes, I know, I know.  But never fear, after months of online bargain comparison shopping, I settled on an LG 32” LED flat screen from Amazon.com.  It gets delivered tomorrow.  So what can I say?

Something had to give….only one class this semester, BUT I get to watch the final season of Breaking Bad in HDTV.  Priorities people!

…I’ve missed real pixels on television…

My summer wouldn’t be complete without one final reflection.  My world, my life, my heart is what it is because of the people I share it with.  I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for the beautiful, wonderful female friends who are a part of my life and keep me sane day after day, week after week, year after year despite everything which comes along.  And, along the way, there have been some ‘menfriends’ who I am often shocked and amazed by how much they mean to me and how integral their support is to everything I do.  For ALL of those in my life this summer, THANK YOU for being there for another memorable season of ups and downs.  For those who were not here but who, in my heart of hearts, I wish were…

…PS…I miss you…

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Lastly, this post is in memory of Jackson Boudreaux BoJangles Berry-Beckham, who passed away to doggy heaven this summer.  ...Jackson, we all miss you baby.

In Memoriam

In Memoriam

Summer or Bust

Summertime is here and I have officially decided to take an official school break. In May, I decided not to register for classes during the shortened summer break, even though it is a good time to take a class in half the time.

The last six months have been a whirlwind for me at work and in my personal life and frankly I needed a break. I haven’t shared it much but my mother has been struggling with some issues that center on being elderly and alone. It became apparent that I needed to take her into my home so that she would be cared for in a manner my entire family felt was necessary.  Moving her into my home and getting her world merged with mine was, to put it mildly, a challenge.  I don’t regret a moment of it and I feel an amazing sense of calm now when I glance over at her and know she is safe and happy.    Each time I hear her laugh at an episode of “The Golden Girls” my heart literally leaps because I am so incredibly grateful and at peace.

However, despite my unwavering love for my mother, I have to admit that I was in no way planning to have a 75-year-old “roommate” at this time of my life.  I am about to clear my house of my 16-year-old “roommate”/daughter who will ship off to college next year. Truthfully, I pictured the next few years with me finishing this college degree, getting promoted to a mind-blowing, internationally based position at work, and yes, finding my Mr. Right.  Ah, Mr. Right…a dashing, debonair, worldly, wonderful man who would sweep me off my feet and bounce me across the globe.  We would go on countless adventures, one more fabulous than the next.  All of them framed in a haze of one more fantastic bottle of wine than the next.  And all of it would be completely possible because I would be unencumbered – nothing holding me at home!  Yes, I know it sounds a bit like a cross between a sappy Lifetime movie, an AA meeting and Season 5 of Sex and The City but hey that’s what I had envisioned…don’t judge me!

Well, needless to say, my daydreams have gotten a slight cramp but it’s early in the summer yet and my hopes are not yet completely dashed.  After all in these first six weeks of summer, I have managed to keep myself busy with what I consider the highlights:

  1. Mowed the lawn 35 times
  2. Cut the hedges 1 time then passed out in the hallway from heat exhaustion
  3. Killed no less than 15 yellow jackets (nasty bees we have here in the Northeast) that somehow manage to get into the upstairs bathroom despite every attempt to keep them out
  4. After everyone goes to bed watching with wide-eyed adoration and horror all four seasons of the A&E series, Breaking Bad on Netflix in my new bedroom/office with the door closed, AC blasting and wine bottle in reaching distance
  5. Travelled to Venice, Florence and Rome ITALY with my gal pal partner in crime, Bonnie, for a 9 day European holiday

Clearly the most significant of those experiences is #5 but don’t think the rest of the list wasn’t without its special moments either. Yes, Italy was breathtaking and I plan on a special post with photos but less I skip over items 1 through 4.  If you’re not watching the show, Breaking Bad, I will just say, you NEED TO BE. Some of you may remember that I tried to watch this a few months back but didn’t like the first episode.  I blogged about it and promised myself to give it another try in an attempt to break some of my own bad habits. I am soooo glad I took my own advice this time around… I really do know what I’m talking about sometimes!

Bottom line….summer’s only half way over and there is still plenty of time to add what I hope are at least another 5 items to that list that don’t include sweat lodge style labor or screaming like a maniac while I flail around the bathroom with a rolled up newspaper trying to kill creepy flying insects. I feel compelled to perhaps do something just slightly more adventurous.  So I am officially welcoming any ideas, suggestions, or even offers from potential Mr. Rights.

No shortage of Mr. Rights in Italy! Viva La David!

No shortage of Mr. Rights in Italy! Viva La David!

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